Spanglish?

Our great adventure begins in three days. Am I ready? Hell, no!! I really should have been learning some Spanish these past 9 months. I keep telling myself, all I need to know how to say, is "Dos Margaritas, por favor! Andele, Andele!!!!" And the usual: Si, Tequila, Gracias, Corona, Mas Tequila, etc.

One thing we do want to do while we're in Cancun is go see some Mayan ruins. Tonight, I booked us on a tour to Chichen Itza:

Here's a description of what we get on the Premiere Tour (as opposed to the Standard or Economy Tour):

Tour Includes:

• Luxury Bus with A/C (A/C is good.....)
  
• Professional Bilingual Guide (Spanish/English) (Spanglish)
  
• Freeway (Really? Our own freeway, we get to name it? Cool. We'll suggest some appropriate names later after we check it out.)
  
• Continental Breakfast(Coffee, Juice, Bread) on the bus (Bread? ......oh, yum.)
  
• Refreshments, purified water, beer, wine and well drinks on the bus (This was the thing that sold the trip -- drinks provided ON the bus and all inclusive!)
  
• Newspapers(Miami Herald) Magazines(Spanish English) (Spanglish, again)
  
• Pillows, umbrellas, blankets. (Blankies? How strong IS that A/C? I thought the bus was luxury, why the pillow.....it's only a 2 hour trip)
  
• Visit to Colonial Valladolid (Read: Mandatory tourist trap layover)
  
• Entry to archeological park Ik-Kil (Oh, okay)
  
• Entry to Chichen Itza archeological zone (That's what we signed up for!)
  
• Buffet in private palapa with A/C in the restaurant at Park IK-KIL with open bar (More alcohol)
  
• Typical Dance show during meals (What if I want the atypical dance, and just who will be doing the dancing, hmmmm? Maybe we will after all that alcohol.)
  
• Insurance and Taxes

(um, what are we getting insured for, exactly?)

We'll see what we actually get for the tour. I have visions of riding in an open air bus with Mexican peasants who do not partake of deodorant or anti-perspirant, smoking heavily, carrying their livestock (chickens, goats, etc.) and a bazillion children as we bump along over hot, dusty unpaved roads. Hopefully I'll be pleasantly surprised. Either way, the bar will be open on and off the bus.

Dos Margaritas, por favor!! Andele!